Week 6 & 7

[jermaine]

Okay well Cody left, i dont know how the vote ratio went yet because Sandy's downy ass hasnt updated the banner or group.

Anyways, its basically vent time. Courtney...oh dear god that girl is not smart at all. I tried to get her to vote with Juice to get Nathan out and what does she do? She goes and shows our conversation to the world. Ugh, now not only has she eliminated herself but shes possibly put some heat on my ass.

I mean, if i have 3 people gunning after me, thats fine because sooner or later its going to come out but i grow weary of Juice's judgement sometimes because he seems to always wanna go with the easy, obvious vote instead of strategic vote.

He wants to go for Courtney, which i dont think is smart because it keeps NNJ in longer and i thought we had agreed to get them out as soon as possible. Courtney is one of those people who i think would be good to have around at merge because she would be an easy vote off. Oh well, if any of this comes back to us in the ass ill just smile and say "i told you so"

[jermaine]

Oh yea, so we have to vote another person out of the tribe
*sigh*

Im really really really upset about the fact that we have to vote out Beth because she is such a sweet woman, but sadly her time in the game has just come to an end. Its always upsetting to have to vote out an actual nice person.

[jermaine]

Well thanks to Sandy's downy ass, i think Noah is on to me and who i might really be working with. Of course he confront Brian insted of me about it.

Im not even sure where our final 4 agreement stands anymore because Juice seems to not trust Brian over some personal crap and aparently not me either cause of Courtney? I dont know im feeling a bit uneasy. I probably should try to talk to Juice more to see exactly where his head is in the game.

[Sandy]

Sailor Moon's for faggots. <3

[jermaine]

Nov 21, 2008 20:25:48 GMT -5 Sandy said:

Sailor Moon's for faggots. <3

Your mom is for faggots oooo BURN!!!

[jermaine]

conversation with Jeffrey

Its Oh So Bjork (12:24:02 PM): heyo ^_^!!
mind bleeds grey (12:24:17 PM): hi
Its Oh So Bjork (12:24:33 PM): how's it going?
mind bleeds grey (12:24:49 PM): not the best morning
mind bleeds grey (12:24:54 PM): but ok
Its Oh So Bjork (12:24:57 PM): !!!! why?
mind bleeds grey (12:25:47 PM): people just talk crap about me and i dont even do anything to them
mind bleeds grey (12:25:55 PM): its kind of frustrating
mind bleeds grey (12:26:41 PM): so how are u?
Its Oh So Bjork (12:26:56 PM): well i did sort of want to talk to you about something like that
mind bleeds grey (12:27:08 PM): hm?
Its Oh So Bjork (12:27:55 PM): well, when you tried to get courtney to target nate and me
Its Oh So Bjork (12:27:58 PM): i thought that was really uncool
mind bleeds grey (12:28:20 PM): i told her she would be in a better position
mind bleeds grey (12:28:41 PM): i was tryin to be nice and help her klutzy self
Its Oh So Bjork (12:28:57 PM): but why at the possibly expense of nate and myself?
mind bleeds grey (12:29:17 PM): because you guys were gonna get rid of me after her
mind bleeds grey (12:30:29 PM): and i was really upset cause i thought i was cool with you guys
Its Oh So Bjork (12:30:42 PM): i honestly and really confused about what you're saying
Its Oh So Bjork (12:30:51 PM): *am really confused
Its Oh So Bjork (12:30:58 PM): who was gonna get rid of you after courtney?
mind bleeds grey (12:31:08 PM): you guys were if i stayed on ur tribe
mind bleeds grey (12:31:25 PM): it was really upsetting
mind bleeds grey (12:31:38 PM): i felt like i had been used
Its Oh So Bjork (12:32:06 PM): you thought i would have voted you off after courtney?
mind bleeds grey (12:32:14 PM): yes very much so
Its Oh So Bjork (12:32:21 PM): why exactly?
mind bleeds grey (12:32:58 PM): yall didnt pick me to be on ur tribe and then you guys rank me as untrustworthy
mind bleeds grey (12:33:18 PM): so i saw how everyone saw me and that i was out of the loop
mind bleeds grey (12:33:49 PM): i thought we were cool
Its Oh So Bjork (12:34:52 PM): i didn't get nearly as much of a say in picking the tribes as i wanted to
Its Oh So Bjork (12:35:10 PM): i was just really surprised that you would go to courtney, who you hate, and expect her to do something for you
mind bleeds grey (12:35:55 PM): well i thought the girl would be somewhat intelligent enough to realize she was in danger
mind bleeds grey (12:36:08 PM): but i over estimated her
Its Oh So Bjork (12:38:17 PM): i was still really surprised by it since i never sensed from you that you thought you were out of the loop
mind bleeds grey (12:38:50 PM): well i felt that way after i saw results and then the tribes were picked
mind bleeds grey (12:39:07 PM): i felt like i had basically been betrayed
Its Oh So Bjork (12:39:49 PM): i didn't have a single problem with you until i heard that
Its Oh So Bjork (12:39:55 PM): now i'm just really pissed
mind bleeds grey (12:40:27 PM): well im sorry you're mad
mind bleeds grey (12:40:44 PM): but i dont want people to like blindsight me
mind bleeds grey (12:41:22 PM): and like you guys basically stopped talking to me so i was pretty much sure that yall were done with me
Its Oh So Bjork (12:41:56 PM): honestly? you were on the other tribe. i had my own tribe to look after for the time being.
Its Oh So Bjork (12:42:11 PM): i didn't talk to katy, brian, nesya, beth, or danielle really at all
Its Oh So Bjork (12:42:27 PM): and before the switch i talked to one person on the other tribe who isn't even here anymore
Its Oh So Bjork (12:42:37 PM): it has nothing to do with who i'm close with or not
mind bleeds grey (12:43:10 PM): well it was a bad strategic move on part but i live and learn
Its Oh So Bjork (12:43:33 PM): brb
mind bleeds grey (12:43:38 PM): i mean i hear you were talking negatively about me and it just really shocked me
mind bleeds grey (12:43:39 PM): ok
Its Oh So Bjork (12:45:00 PM): you heard that i was talking negatively about you?
mind bleeds grey (12:45:16 PM): yes just recently actually
Its Oh So Bjork (12:45:39 PM): up until i found out that you were so against me i had nothing bad to say about you
Its Oh So Bjork (12:45:47 PM): but i am just disgusted at you to be honest
mind bleeds grey (12:46:07 PM): im sorry you feel that way towards me for playing the game
Its Oh So Bjork (12:46:28 PM): you were playing on the other tribe, trying to manipulate somebody you hate
Its Oh So Bjork (12:46:34 PM): that's not survivor, that's retarded
mind bleeds grey (12:46:52 PM):
mind bleeds grey (12:47:05 PM): did you just call me retarded?
Its Oh So Bjork (12:47:17 PM): i'm saying that what you did was retarded
Its Oh So Bjork (12:47:59 PM): i honestly was looking forward to being back on a tribe with you
mind bleeds grey (12:48:08 PM): well im sorry i disgusted you i didnt know what i did was that severe
Its Oh So Bjork (12:48:08 PM): truly i was
Its Oh So Bjork (12:48:23 PM): it also showed that you don't consider me a friend
mind bleeds grey (12:48:24 PM): but like i have no hard feelings towards you
Its Oh So Bjork (12:48:28 PM): i would neevr do that to a friend
Its Oh So Bjork (12:48:33 PM): *never
mind bleeds grey (12:48:37 PM): wha?
mind bleeds grey (12:48:47 PM): i think thats going a bit to far
mind bleeds grey (12:48:51 PM): thats why i was so hurt
mind bleeds grey (12:49:01 PM): like had noah or nathan did something like that to me
mind bleeds grey (12:49:08 PM): i wouldnt have been that upset
mind bleeds grey (12:49:15 PM): cause i expected something like that from them
mind bleeds grey (12:49:23 PM): but for you to do it
mind bleeds grey (12:49:32 PM): like i was really upset about that
Its Oh So Bjork (12:50:30 PM): not picking you for a tribe?? i was friends with everybody on huron except for cody and courtney; it was a really hard choice. i was literately praying that brian would pick courtney or cody for an easy boot so you could be on this tribe
Its Oh So Bjork (12:50:40 PM): i just can't believe you didn't even come to me if you had a problem
Its Oh So Bjork (12:50:47 PM): you had to go behind my back like that
mind bleeds grey (12:51:25 PM): after the results and the pick i didnt see any reason cause it seemed as though you deemed me useless and didnt care about me
Its Oh So Bjork (12:51:54 PM): why didn't you come talk to me then, like i'm talking to you now?
Its Oh So Bjork (12:52:04 PM): you just jumped to all of these conclusions
Its Oh So Bjork (12:52:12 PM): and honestly i feel like you've been brainwashed
mind bleeds grey (12:52:59 PM): i can admit that not coming to you was VERY immature on my part
mind bleeds grey (12:53:23 PM): and no it was not smart to attempt a dumb move like that
Its Oh So Bjork (12:53:46 PM): i'm just really mad because i feel like we can't move past it
mind bleeds grey (12:53:53 PM): im not even sure what Courtney showed you, because i can almost feel as though
mind bleeds grey (12:54:01 PM): she didnt show you everything
Its Oh So Bjork (12:54:17 PM): maybe she didn't
mind bleeds grey (12:54:19 PM): but the original intention
mind bleeds grey (12:54:29 PM): was not so much on you, but on nathan
mind bleeds grey (12:54:48 PM): and i've even said countless times to other people that i feel as though they are using you
mind bleeds grey (12:55:12 PM): i haven't necessarily been brain washed but it was just like
mind bleeds grey (12:55:17 PM): things changed
mind bleeds grey (12:55:40 PM): and i started thinking "okay maybe he was just playing me the whole time and really didnt like me start with"
Its Oh So Bjork (12:56:18 PM): honestly i can fake being nice, but i can't fake having good conversations; i really felt that our conversations were genuine and fun
mind bleeds grey (12:56:32 PM): thats why i was SOOO upset
mind bleeds grey (12:57:02 PM): im like, okay he would never do anything against me
mind bleeds grey (12:57:20 PM): and to my knowledge you haven't
mind bleeds grey (12:57:32 PM): but i felt as though you viewed me as expendable
mind bleeds grey (12:57:56 PM): and i just felt like all the conversations were just gameplay
Its Oh So Bjork (12:58:30 PM): that's not the type of person i am
mind bleeds grey (12:58:36 PM): like it really hurt to hear that you would say something of me in a negative light
Its Oh So Bjork (12:58:53 PM): i would have nothing bad to say about you if you didn't throw the first punch
mind bleeds grey (12:59:25 PM): but see i didnt talk negatively about you, i was simply advising courtney to watch out for you guys
mind bleeds grey (12:59:28 PM): and i feel as though
mind bleeds grey (12:59:35 PM): more emphasis was put on you
mind bleeds grey (12:59:41 PM): then what there really was
mind bleeds grey (12:59:56 PM): because that conversation was in LARGE part about Nathan
mind bleeds grey (1:01:31 PM): i mean i guess it was naive of me to think you would pick me since i dont know what kind of realtionship you had with the other people on the tribe
mind bleeds grey (1:01:59 PM): but it looked to me as if i was just useless
Its Oh So Bjork (1:02:02 PM): you have no idea how much i even dreaded the responsibility of picking tribes
mind bleeds grey (1:02:03 PM): and i felt like an idiot
Its Oh So Bjork (1:02:16 PM): i bitched about it for like 3 paragraphs in a confessional
mind bleeds grey (1:02:57 PM): i see, i mean i guess other people were more important then me
mind bleeds grey (1:03:22 PM): like its a little selfish of me to think i was a high priority
Its Oh So Bjork (1:03:46 PM): it's not even that
Its Oh So Bjork (1:03:56 PM): it's just like... when people are IMing me saying "pick me!"
Its Oh So Bjork (1:04:03 PM): it's an awkward situation
mind bleeds grey (1:05:09 PM): i just felt like i was made a fool of
mind bleeds grey (1:05:31 PM): i always spoke so highly of you and how you were my favorite person in the game
Its Oh So Bjork (1:06:08 PM): i spoke really highly of you but i had a lot of pressure on me at that time
mind bleeds grey (1:06:36 PM): i understand
mind bleeds grey (1:06:52 PM): i probably just expected way too much
mind bleeds grey (1:07:16 PM): and i suppose thats why i was so angry and just wanted revenge
mind bleeds grey (1:07:44 PM): im just in the chat watching people get picked
mind bleeds grey (1:08:04 PM): and realized that it was down to me and two people that were absolutely hated
mind bleeds grey (1:08:15 PM): so its just like
mind bleeds grey (1:08:24 PM): wow, what did i do to everyone
mind bleeds grey (1:08:43 PM): i mean i knew brian didnt like me so i didnt expect to be picked
Its Oh So Bjork (1:09:57 PM): i just know that the only two huron members that i picked, i was asked to pick. it's really awkward to have somebody ask you to pick them and then deny them
mind bleeds grey (1:12:30 PM): and after that point i just figured that
mind bleeds grey (1:12:43 PM): maybe i was worthless
mind bleeds grey (1:12:57 PM): i think the survey results stung even more
mind bleeds grey (1:13:03 PM): cause its like,
mind bleeds grey (1:13:15 PM): no one knew those would be used so everyone got to be completely honest
Its Oh So Bjork (1:13:32 PM): well to be honest?
Its Oh So Bjork (1:13:50 PM): almost everyone in this game knows like... at least 4 other people from before the game
Its Oh So Bjork (1:14:00 PM): i'm not somebody who had that priviledge
Its Oh So Bjork (1:14:09 PM): so i was genuinely shocked that i was even the most trusted
mind bleeds grey (1:16:23 PM): well maybe you just have a trustworthy personality
mind bleeds grey (1:16:36 PM): but anyways i hate that it had to reach this point
mind bleeds grey (1:16:40 PM): and i am HUGELY at fault
mind bleeds grey (1:16:51 PM): for going off assumptions
mind bleeds grey (1:17:02 PM): and reacting off emotion instead of my brain
mind bleeds grey (1:19:04 PM): and like whether you believe me or not
mind bleeds grey (1:19:06 PM): i am sorry
Its Oh So Bjork (1:20:19 PM): i dunno
Its Oh So Bjork (1:20:21 PM): i just want to get over it
mind bleeds grey (1:23:12 PM): ditto

[jermaine]

My thoughts on the conversation with Jeffrey...

First off, i want to clarify what happened with the conversation me and him were talking about. I basically told Courtney that she should vote out Nathan to secure her own position in the game. Well, the girl went and told Jeffrey about it like an idiot. Jeffrey does NOT like her and i really dont either, so that was dumb on her part but she also screwed me over. Anyways, Jeffrey took it as an attack against him.

Next, after reviewing the conversation, i feel as though i was basically GUILTED into an apology. I don't know why he feels disgusted with me for playing the game. I was hurt because he caved under pressure and didnt remember those who are really his friend. I mean, it sort of sucks to watch him pick everyone and then just think of me as an after thought.

He was right in the sense that i should have talked to him about the problem but one thing i noticed is that he really didnt deny the fact that he was indeed coming after me. So now my worries are sort of valid. I mean that survey was people's honest opinion and i was on the bottom of the totem pole.

Maybe my reasons for going after him and Nathan were a little personal, but it was also qualified by my game.

Overall i think that i was mature enough to apologize and admit my faults...but for some reason i felt like he couldnt do the same. Maybe i just expected too much from him?